The Great Bear: part 4

by jamesmerolla

     Why do newscasts we occasionally see from other areas of the country always feel so raw and uncouth? It feels like you’re peeking in on neighbors during an intimate moment.

     I don’t know. Can we change the channel?

     Go head, I’m not watching it.

Allan sighs and snatches the remote off the table.

     It kind of feels like you’re on the outside of an inside joke.

     Me?

     No, when you see footage from a foreign newscast, dear.

     Yeah, I guess so.

Their marriage was like picking at a scab, small winces of pain.  And they didn’t hate each other; they just didn’t know each other. And they will never know each other while going through the motions of marriage.

     I ran into Wayne today.

     Oh really? What did he have to say?

     Not much, he asked how you’re doing, and he complimented your boots.

     Oh yeah? My boots? I should give him a call. I haven’t seen him in such a long time. You live next door to a guy and you never see him.

     He’s out there waiting for something.

    He’s waiting for something alright. If I’m being honest, even when I did see him he was never really there.

     Poor Margo.

     Yeah…….. Margo, she’s alone in that house.

     So alone.

     That’s not right.

     Someone should do something about it.

     He should do something about it.

Laura smiled gently and stared through the TV.  She felt a nauseating flash of pride in her husband.

Even when lying to her, he still tried to be a decent man.  She hated that small forgiveness she afforded him. She didn’t love him, only marrying him to make a little noise in the house. But his lies still felt personal. The nauseating part was her pettiness. Why should she care what he does? Why should she care about him at all? She knew why he married her. There is nothing to hate, nothing there at all.

     Our insecurities and egos make us do silly things sometimes. I wonder what he thinks   about when he tries to sleep.

     What is wrong with you? Why do you say such stupid things?

     I’m just curious.

     Well, you’re too curious.

     You’re my husband.

     And you’re my wife.

“This is what I’m seeing right now.” She thinks, as his eyes slowly meander back to the television. She feels his remorse, his guilt, but it’s just a brief streak through the black between their lives, forgotten before the end of a commercial break.

The only person Laura has ever loved was Margot. She is comforted by this, but she worries about her sister.

     I think Wayne is going to do something foolish soon.

     Like what?

    I don’t know. When I saw him today he just felt lighter than usual, like he had discovered some resolve.

     Resolve, isn’t that good?

     Not always.

continues in part 5…

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